Chapter 1: The Meeting
Smurfette sat on a small mushroom in the forest, waiting for a Smurf to come by. This was the task Gargamel had given her— to capture the Smurfs by luring them over to his hovel. They wouldn't be able to resist her feminine wiles.
There one was! A Smurf stepped through the bushes, carrying a basket. He wore a short shirt with no sleeves, and had hearts tattooed on both of his arms. Smurfette turned away, pretending not to see him, and began to fake tears.
She pressed her hands up against her face in order to hide the lack of real tears, and made sobbing noises. Soon, she heard footsteps nearby. Moving her hands away from her face, she looked towards the sound- sure enough, it was the Smurf.
"Oh," she said, still faking sadness, "it's awful! Oh, I've never been so miserable in my whole life! I'm all alone, ooh, lost in this scary forest full of frightening noises!" She fake-sobbed again.
"Hey!" The Smurf said. Smurfette jumped.
"Oh, you startled me," she said. She smoothed out her dress, making sure she looked as pretty as could be. "Who are you?"
"I'm a Smurf!" The Smurf said. That's not exactly helpful, Smurfette thought, but she didn't say that. "Who are you?" he continued.
"I'm a Smurfette." She fluttered her eyelashes at him, clasping her hands together.
"A Smurfette?"
"You know what that is?"
"No." He shook his head. Smurfette smiled and put her hands on her hips, wanting to accentuate her figure. She looked back at him.
"You like what you see?" She said flirtatiously.
The Smued shrugged. "I don't know."
"You will!" She winked at him. But the Smurf seemed confused. Perhaps other Smurfs would be more receptive to her, she thought. So she changed the topic. "Where's your village?"
"This way!" The Smurf turned and started to jog away. Without her.
When Gargamel had told Smurfette the plan, he had also told her that you couldn't find the village of the Smurfs unless a real Smurf led you there. Right now, the pace the other Smurf was jogging at was too fast for her to keep up with. She'd be left behind in no time at all.
"Wait!" she yelled. The Smurf stopped and looked back. "Aren't you going to carry me? I'm weak, and helpless..."
The Smurf crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. Smurfette tried her hardest to look like a fair damsel in distress, and the Smurf sighed and walked over to her. He picked her up- and slung her over his shoulder. She looked at him from over his shoulder. Well, that's one way to do it, she thought.
From her place slung over the Smurf's shoulder, Smurfette couldn't see much as he walked through the forest. She did hear, however, when another voice spoke.
"Hefty, what on smurf are you carrying?" The voice asked. The Smurf carrying Smurfette responded.
"It's a 'Smurfette,' whatever that is. I found her in the forest. She's coming back to the village with us."
"Hefty, Hefty, Hefty," another voice started, "you should know better than to make assumptions. After all, you know what they say about assuming..."
The Smurf carrying Smurfette, who she had deduced was Hefty, shrugged. Smurfette shrieked as the movement of Hefty's shoulders bounced her up and down.
"Ah, sorry..." Hefty said, placing her down on the ground. "Here. Let's head back to the village."
"Wait!" The second voice said. Smurfette turned to look at its source. The owner of the voice was a portly Smurf with curly red hair and thick spectacles. "Are you really sure it's safe to bring some stranger back to the village? It's very dangerous! As Papa Smurf always says-"
"So you're assuming things will go wrong?" Hefty said, starting to walk forward. Smurfette looked around as the other Smurfs began to follow him, and did so as well. "Why, Brainy, I thought you knew what they said about assuming..."
As the steps of a Smurf with a flower pinned to his hat lined up with Smurfette's, he gestured towards Hefty and the glasses-wearing Smurf- Brainy- and rolled his eyes. Smurfette hid a laugh behind her hand.
Brainy crossed his arms. "That's different. I have proof that outsmurfers are dangerous. You don't have any proof that that's a girl."
"Oh, don't worry, specs, I'm all woman." Smurfette said with a wink. This didn't seem to have the desired effect on Brainy, who crossed his arms and glared at Hefty as Hefty said,
"See, now I have proof."
"I hate proof!" Another one of the smurfs said. While Smurfette found the sudden outburst weird, none of the others seemed to recognize it as unusual.
Soon, Smurfette saw a clearing through the trees. The others saw it too, and Brainy took off running. The rest of the group kept walking at a normal pace, and soon Smurfette saw the houses of the village, and Smurfs milling about. Only some of them had hair. Smurfette had noticed this about the small group she was with as well, but it was even stranger with a larger group. The houses were cute, though. They looked like little mushrooms!
"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" Brainy yelled as he ran ahead. He skidded to a stop in front of a white-bearded Smurf- Papa Smurf, probably- as Smurfette and the rest of the group caught up. "Look what Hefty found in the woods, Papa Smurf! A… a Smurfette!"
"A Smurfette?" "A Smurfette?" "What's a Smurfette?" Smurfs gathered around, staring at Smurfette in confusion.
"Uh... is that a Smurfette?"
"No, Dopey, that's a basket of smurfberries. That is a Smurfette."
"Oy gevalt, that outfit," another Smurf said, "it barely covers anything!" He wasn't wearing a shirt, so Smurfette thought he wasn't one to talk.
Smurfette started to fake sob, and the group of Smurfs quickly quieted down. Then she clasped her hands together, trying her best to look pretty and sweet and helpless.
"Oh, Papa Smurf!" she said, "I suffered all night in the hideous forest! Lost and alone... oh, I was so scared!"
Papa put an arm around her shoulders, and she tried to look grateful for the reassurance, although she wanted to pull away.
"There, there, my dear," he said. "You’re among friends now. You can smurf right here in our village for as long as you like."
She avoided his eyes. "I can?"
"Of course!"
"Oh boy!" One of the Smurfs from the forest group said, clapping excitedly. He was tall, with long blond hair. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Smurfette's gonna stay!" Some other Smurfs cheered, and Smurfette smirked. Everything was coming up Smurfette's.
"We're in for a treat!" another Smurf said.
Oh, they were in for something, alright. They were in for a surprise.