Chapter 8: Beauty Queen
Papa Smurf hadn't attempted this spell in a long time. Not for many years, not since the last Smurfette. When this one had arrived, he'd thought Jade had sent her, but no. She'd been created by Gargamel. How a human had gotten their hands on the formula, Papa had no clue. How it had created an adult Smurf, he knew even less about.
Confusion and reminiscing aside, he had a spell to cast.
"Will it hurt?" Smurfette asked. Papa shook his head.
"No, it won't. In fact, you should be asleep for most of it."
The spell was in two halves- a potion for her to drink, and a formula with words for him to recite. The potion was the simple part. It was composed of a drop of blood from a Smurf (as much as Papa hated blood magic, it was necessary. For her body to become that of a real Smurf's, it needed to reference biology that already existed. He'd made sure the Smurf who gave it was willing), royal jelly from a queen bee, and juice from the apples that grew at the center of the Smurf Forest. (But only those apples, as they had a special magical quality he couldn't explain.)
He gave the potion to Smurfette, and she drank it. Her face screwed up in a grimace as she swallowed, and Papa chuckled. "Yes, I can't imagine the texture is very smurfy."
"It tastes like garbage," she said.
"It's what's necessary. Now, I want you to count backwards from three with me, alright?" Smurfette nodded, and they counted down together. "Three, two..."
She was out before they reached "one." He watched, and waited, and soon enough her breath became a blue-tinted smoke. This smoke reached out and surrounded her, lifting her body off of the chair where she sat. Step one was complete. Now for the formula, and the words.
"One touch of Venus," that would be a drop of melted copper, of course, copper being the alchemical metal associated with Venus. He let the drop fall into the cloud of smoke surrounding Smurfette.
"Add moonbeams for light," Papa opened a locked box, just a little bit, letting six small sparks fly out into the smoke. Smurfette's body seemed to fade slightly.
"Essence of smurfroot to smurf her up right," this was a white powder he sprinkled into the smoke. And now, for the hard part. He grabbed a magic wand from the table next to him, and held it up.
"And now, with the power of all I command, Smurfette become Smurf, and before me stand!"
For a moment, the smoke thickened to a point where Smurfette was completely hidden. And then the smoke disappeared, and she was lying on the ground, asleep. Looking very different from how he had expected.
An announcement had gathered the Smurfs in front of Papa Smurf's laboratory, where Papa stood.
"Everysmurf," he said. "I will now introduce the new, smurfy Smurfette!" He gestured to the door, which opened as Smurfette stepped out. All the Smurfs stared. She had changed quite a lot.
Whereas before she had been strangely proportioned, with too-long arms and too-short legs and a weird lumpy body, now that had all smoothed out into a petite but perfectly-proportioned woman. Her short black hair had become long, voluminous, and golden-blonde. She was beautiful.
She smiled, giving a dainty little wave. "Hello, everyone!"
"Hello, Smurfette!" Several Smurfs chorused. "Welcome back!" Someone in the back of the crowd mentioned something about a bet.
"Smurfette, I'm glad you're okay!" Brainy said. "Here, I have a present for you." He held out a large book with his own face drawn on the cover. Smurfette nearly burst out laughing at the fact he thought that was a good gift to give someone he barely knew.
"Out of my way," Greedy said, pushing Brainy and his book off to the side. "I smurfed her a gift first."
"No, I did!" Lively said.
"Smurfette!" Jokey called out, easily slipping through the crowd, helping Brainy up off the ground as he did so. He placed a box in her hands. "Here's a surprise!"
It was a yellow gift box, tied with red ribbon. Before Smurfette could open it, Brainy raced over and snatched it away from her.
"No, don't! It'll kablooey right in your face!" He slammed the box on the ground and jumped on it, flattening it and causing a red liquid to stain it from the inside. He jumped on it twice more, but then stopped, holding a hand to his chest and panting heavily. "Ow... that was... a really bad... idea."
"I'll say!" Jokey responded. "Did you ever see a smurfberry cake kablooey in your face?"
Brainy grinned sheepishly. "Well- I- I- ah, um..." He shrugged. "...Anybody can make a mistake."
Smurfette winced at the force of the slap that followed that statement, and the ease with which Jokey delivered it. Brainy cried out when Jokey hit him, but didn't retaliate. He simply adjusted his glasses and left, muttering something to himself that Smurfette couldn't quite make out.
"Present fight!" Smiley yelled, grabbing a clump of dirt from the ground and tossing it at Greedy.
"Oh, you'll pay for that!" Greedy said, and Smiley ran. Greedy followed after him. Handy grabbed a basket of smurfberries from another Smurf, and slammed it over Hefty's head. She dropped to the ground as things were thrown at her. Smurfs who hadn't gotten presents for Smurfette grabbed whatever they could get their hands on, and the all-out brawl began.
"Oh, dear." Smurfette said. She had thought Smurfs were peaceful creatures. "What do you suppose got into them?"
Papa Smurf winced as a rock barely missed them. "Maybe you'd better smurf back to your house, my dear, and, uh... freshen up."
Smurfette nodded. "I know I certainly look like a Smurf, Papa Smurf, but I sure don't feel like one."
"I'm afraid you'll have to manage that part on your own. You'll smurf what to do when the time comes."
A belt hit the wall between them, accompanied by a loud shout of "Ye wrecked my winnin's, ye boot!"
"You should probably smurf away now," Papa Smurf told Smurfette. So that was what she did.